Co-Creating the Well-Living Community Requires Extraordinary Listening: 9 Perspectives
In this #5 of 7-section series of articles on Co-Creating the Well-Living Community for Grandparents and their Grandkids, there is one extraordinary concept and practice that is essential to co-create this community of significare — that is to move it from a community to a community of practice to a community of significare (“significant care” from Dr. Gerard Grant, a mentor).
That essential element is Listening — “extraordinary listening” in particular!
Definition of Listening
Listening is the process of transitioning from what you hear-understand-comprehend (outside-in) to what you reflect-store-respond (inside-out) while you observe the shared activity-behavior-consequences
From this definition, you listen within, without, between, together, and beyond. That is, you listen
- with/to one another
- with/to self
- with/to the situation
- with/to Nature
- for actions
- from outcomes
- because of learning
- toward educating
- for opening
- for closing
9 Perspectives of Extraordinary Listening
Often I’m alert to the use of adverbs and adjectives. It’s important to find the balance between their use and non-use. More importantly, the appropriateness of their use.
In this case, it is the adjective “extraordinary” attached to listening. With the 9 Perspectives that follow, I’ll alert you to the importance of “extraordinary” rather than “active,” “effective,” or “reflective.” However, if I had my druthers “listening” can stand on its own because of its importance in being for the world!
Your ongoing challenge is Listening How to Listen! Onward!
There is a continuum of good — great — memorable — remarkable — extraordinary. It’s one we use at the International Mentoring Community as a way to explain and describe the journey of mentoring to become a certified mentor.
As to the journey of listening, that is to become an extraordinary listener, you have
- an experience of listening — it’s the noun form
- to experience listening — it’s the verb form
- the experience of listening — it’s an expression of lived experience (combination of noun and verb forms over time with determinant reflection to achieve extraordinariness)
From listening you are aware of
- genius and scenius
- well being for self
- well living with others
- mission & purpose, vision & values
- truth, trust, and transparency
- inspiration & motivation
And these are the inside-out aspects of listening
Control — the intersection of inside-out and outside-in found from determining the quality of your experience
- possibility and opportunity
- potential and strengths
And these are the outside-in aspects of listening
I appreciate the above lists lean into the help-appreciation language. You can list the hinder-problem language. My selection is for illustration.
10 Tips When Listening
- suspend judgment
- think for involvement
- respond in their words
- orient your feet to remain present
- use both ears
- observe the body language of the person
- connect true essence
- clarify reasons
- breathe from your belly
- enspirit being fully human
- move from listening to responding to quickly
- pretend to listen
- engage in daydreaming
- search for the weaknesses
- miss the emotional connection
- ask questions that separate
When you listen you learn
Where you share you educate
At the core of leading
at the core of living
at the core of love
Because listening brings you to life
it’s your way to the core of caring
to connect you with others
in essence, listening is when you care to Lead, Live, Love
The word listen is usually accompanied by something.
Here are 10 Insights about Listening for Your Use in the Well-Living Community
- Understand others by listening to their words — they will give you insight into their hands, head, and heart
- Use two ears and one mouth, and use them proportionally in all relationships
- Discern the needs and wants of others, and know which align with your direction
- Remember persons really want to be heard and respected, therefore your listening shares trust that strengthens your time together
- Consider what others praise in you, decide to strengthen it or another competence
- Listen for what is missing by asking resilient questions
- Acknowledge listening is a key competence followers value in you’re leading
- Radiate a listening spirit from within, shared without, as an expression of your personal growth
- Nurture listening through “help them help you listen”
- Live from your legacy of listening today
Living occurs at the speed of competence
Listening occurs at the speed of sound
Seeing occurs at the speed of light
However, have you noticed we live as we listen to what we see?
Each day you see and hear a lot. Much of it is the noise that is filtered away from your consciousness. The ideal state is to seek the news out of the noise.
As a result of listening to what we see, we jump forward to interpret what we think is happening. Often, to our own demise! Instead, if you were to gain competence in listening how to listen, and slow down in your responding, then think how confident you would be in your interactions with others.
Thus, extraordinary listening is a vital skill in co-creating a well-living community.
Listening — while auditory — is made up of the sense of hearing and the organ of the ears
The 7 nested steps of listening are:
- attending about hearing
- understanding about learning
- comprehending about knowing
- reflecting about critiquing
- remembering about storing
- responding about sharing
- observing about reviewing
Of utmost importance — after reading this article — is to become a reflective practitioner of listening. That is, listen how to listen using these seven steps!
Resource: the video about the 7 steps of listening:
The experience of listening — as the outcome — blends the stories of the love of history (inside-out) and the love of mystery (outside-in).
Your commitment to listening results in the collaborative (learning-educating) conversations from which you blend the automatic historic conversation and the proposed mysterious conversation.
An experience of listening brings the best of history forward (past to present) and the anticipation of mystery fromward (future to present). Together, they keep you real today, in the moments-minutes of listening.
Listening forges a dynamic balance of living outside-in and inside-out.
A PotPourri of Thoughts:
- Mindset: is a balance of “I believe it, I will see it” and “I will see it, I believe it” And your entry mindset for an experience of listening, your during mindset to experience listening, and your exit mindset for the experience of listening guides your determination of the balance.
- Words matter! There are no absolute words. Words are an approximation of reality. Therefore, the words you use to respond may not convey the meaning of the message. Be minding of what happens through listening to what you see and feel.
- Verbs have a charge and direction, and they are intensified by adverbs. Remain alert to your use of adverbs when you respond. More so when you are listening, determine their usefulness to the message you are receiving.
- Nouns have a charge and outcomes, and they are intensified by adjectives. Remain alert to your use of adjectives when you respond. More so when you are listening, determine their usefulness to the message you are receiving.
- Listening is nested structural relationships (how to who) in dynamic balance with the nested relational structures (who to how). Both are required to cocreate the well-living community of significare.
- Through listening, you gain access to awareness which itself is a dynamic balance of intention (love of mystery) and attention (love of history).
The way to know about listening as an experience, to experience, and the experience is to listen how to listen through all of its elements. The 9 Perspectives shared above offer you insights — ideas — interpretations to MAKE it so, so IT is!
With these articles, we outline — discuss — share concepts and practices we are following to MAKE IT SO! Our intention is to work with Grandparents — Grandchildren — and Nature. Therefore, these pages are editable! Because it’s easier for most to edit than to write!
So What? What Else? Now What?
In the weeks and months to follow, I/you/we can help grandparents who step forward to improve, focus, and strengthen the co-creation of the Well-Living Community — a community platform of programs and projects, and processes and products grandparents (and grandchildren) can access to support grandparenting with involvement in/with the natural world.
If you can’t wait, then use our Website Contact Form to ask questions — share comments — sign up for updates about the WELL-Living Community for Grandparents.
https://wellthmovement.com/contact — join the list, ask a question